Admission admission: I didn't do it!!!

So I'm in an ugly situation. Had a fight with the husband today -- over Sonny Boy's "school admission".
Ok, so he's 2.8. He's going to playschool.

While I largely want him to be in an informal playschool set up a while longer, everyone around me is freaking me out about "putting him into school" and with that dreaded word "admission". My dad went with a  vengeance to a nearby school today (because neither hubby nor I were showing any interest) and of course, admission is frozen for 2011 nursery already! I mean, surprise surprise! And he gave me the meanest looks ever and told me in not so few words that I wasn't cariong enough for Sonny's education.

I really don't want him to go to school. I protest. But it seems the world is differently wired. I'm "already late" and don't stand a chance in the flood of education. If I don't put him in nursery, nobody's going to give him admission in first standard?!! There are "feeder schools" and my Sonny's isn't one of them. Sonny's playschool isn't even the competitive sort....which is why I think I put him there in thge first place. God! I'm going around in circles again...

Ok my research has been abysmal. I havent given it enough time and seriousness.

I have also posted all this on Parentree (a more sober un-cribbing version) because parents there seem to know everything/keep track and are always helpful and forthcoming with advise. I hope to post any replies here too, so that it's of help to any other parent who's in a similar situation (not that any other parent can be as muddled as I am now).

I'm feeling guilty. My Sonny's lost a year? Does that mean anything at this age? Am I taking all this too casually? Or is my brain addled with ignorance and nothingness?

After all no one's going to come drop off a seat at my doorstep...hahahah it's way far off the mark. I'll probably go about begging, trying to use "influence", ugh , and doing what not....FOR ADMISSION!

Your child is insecure, intoverted and cries all the time: We give up

It was anything but a warm welcome after the travel-intensive office conference trip. The little joys of me time were swept way by a flood of criticism, pointing fingers and accusing statements.

Landed back home to realise we're due at a parent-teacher meeting at Sonny Boy's playschool. It was our first, and boy! Was it a disaster!

The school's director and his class teacher, in no un-certain terms told us that Sunny Boy was insecure, introverted and shy, refused to mix with other children, didn't want to participate in any of the class activities, doesn't sing rhymes, only does actions sometimes, refuses to jump on the trampoline, refuses to change class or teacher, was even scared of holding a crayon! That he cries too much, doesn't eat what's in his box, that other children were losing out on a whole lot of fun because Sonny Boy was pretty un-handlable!

THAT i thought was the last straw.

They said they had "given up" on him because he refused to "settle down" despite being at the playschool since June.

They told us that we must make him more secure and loved, wanted. We must use more physical touch to give him the reassurance.

It was a hard slap for me across my face. Because at home, he's never like this.
He loves his crayons and colouring.
He sings all his rhymes with action at home.
Yes, he cries a lot and throws tantrums -- a problem we're trying to solve too.

What hurt most was the curt way in which they told us he was beyond control. And that we were to blame. They asked us for solutions.

Agreed as a parent, we must be actively involved in solving the issue at hand, but doesn't the teacher play any role in this?
We put him in this playschool simply because unlike others, they seemed informal, ready accept each child as an individual, with different rates of development.
The classes or groups were small -- his initial group had six kids and three teachers -- that was good I thought.

What happened along the way, I wonder? He would come back initially happy with rhymes. Now he wakes up in the morning absolutely refusing to go to playschool.

In the last about 36 hours of desperation and depression I have read up vaguely on autism, stumbled upon selective mutism, childhood insecurity, separation anxiety, toddler anxiety....I've considered changing playhome, considered quitting job and staying home with him, pulling him out for a few months from any playschool....

Feeling guilty that I didn't notice all this till now, miserable that we may have caused it and vicious against the teachers for being so mean about it.

Confused, and searching for answers....