Does a second child make your first one happier?

It's crazy that I'm even thinking about it. And those who know me and how I protest a second child will sadistically say "Aaah see, we knew you would come around to this..."

My point is, does having a second child benefit the older one, and, eventually the second child too? I'm beginning to think my little fella is lonely. When I say benefit, I mean from the company.

Two things happened yesterday. It was Ugadi, we were all at home. Suddenly Sonny said "Where's my tamma paapa (younger brother/baby)?" He has a doll that he calls that -- TP -- I'll call him. But he doesn't play with that doll all the time. He just lies around the house randomly mostly. But suddenly Sonny's love for TP overflows. Yesterday he held him and brought him on teh bike to my parents' place. There he put him on his lap and put him to bed. On teh bike, he held his hand on his head saying "Otherwise the sun will hit him hard on the head!"!!!! I was a Melting Mommy.

I asked him "So do you really want a TP (younger brother)? A real one? Not this doll..." And he promptly said "No, I want this doll TP ONLY." I was in splits.

Later in the evening I took him to my best friend's place. She too has an only child -- a daughter -- and after their usual measuring up of each other, trying to snatch toys from each other routine, they were both jumping around in the apartment courtyard so happily together.

I was honestly happy to see him play WITH SOMEONE HIS OWN AGE.
It's such a frustrating life. I can't take him to playgroup because I'm hardly ever home. My parents refuse to; they prefer the arrangement of a nanny/maid to that of day care/play group.
I've only seen Sonny play with older folk.
I'm feeling guilty that I'm killing his childhood by dumping him with adults all day long.

There are some older kids in our apartment but he's barely there. And there are no kids around where my folks stay -- which is where he is most of the time.

At the cost of sounding stupid and crazy i feel like having a second child so that my first has company!! But it doesn't sound right at all. That messes up my mind further.

Sonny's going through a phase where he's being so difficult and stubborn and cranky and headstrong. And like in India everyone says to anyone who's a bit "off the track" in adult years -- "shaadi kara do, sab theek ho jaayega", now everyone says to me "have another baby, he'll become ok". I'm actually giving it some thought now. Should I, would I, could I? Do I really want to? Ufffffffff

10 things that are sure to happen with you and child

Murphy's Law "Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong" applies best to situations set around your child and yourself (yeah once you're a mother, it's intrinsically linked).

1. Your child will have that One Big Fall in life. Most probably it will be on his head. And you can be assured it'll happen when you're just out of reach and mostly, when you (The Careless Mother) is around. Never around Daddy. No way!

2. When you have close friends over, your child (whom you've described to friends as a little devil) is sure to be on his best behaviour, proving that Mummy is a big liar and he, an angel. And just when your friends have left the party and are texting you "Whay do you complain so much? He's so cute!" or "He's such an adorable darling" is when he'll throw the week's worst tantrum. Around you the post-celebration mess is waiting to be cleaned up.

3. You are looking forward to a quiet Sunday. And a hectic work week after that. The nanny informs you she's not coming a few days. Emergency. The house-help says she's going to her village for her niece's daughter's ear-piercing ceremony. Your in-laws decide it's a good time to visit. You inevitably fall sick.

4. Your dear darling child has had a running nose most of last week, has thrown up phelgm with food after most meals, and has finally settled down with all the medication you've pumped in. You can almost be assured that just as you're breathing a sigh of relief that he's tided over it. You hear the bursts of fart that herald the loosies.

5. You suddenly feel guilty you havent been paying too much attention to his nutrition. You need to make this most healthy breakfast for the little one. You've put together this multi-veggie upma, raagi porridge, made some mango milkshake. Even if he has some pickings from each of this, you tell yourself, you've done your bit. The little one wakes up with a sunny smile and asks for Maggi.

6. You've told the world that your child's a poor eater. Hardly takes in a few spoonfulls at every meal, and that too after much fussing. But the day your best friend lands home with her baby and you're both feeding them their meal together, that's when your darling will eagerly wolf down all the food -- no protest, no crankiness -- as if you've starved him three whole days. He'll even smile and eat veggies!

7. You've prepared hime for his outing to the restaurant. Told him all about how you're going there to eat, we'll sit on a chair etc etc. He'll land there, scream excitedly "Food! Food!". Keep asking every passer-by for Maggi. Pull down the table mats, throw the spoons and forks below the table, refuse to sit on the high chair provided (though he'll gladly do it at home), stand up on the plush upholstery with his muddy sandals, climb up the table, and eat noodles, string by string with his hands. And clap for himself! Needless to say, yours is the only kid at the restaurant doing it.

8. You're looking forward to a vacation. A short break, really. You think you are getting the little darling ready for life, letting him have a look at the beautiful world outside. He decides it's time to go on strike -- he won't eat, pee or poop on most of the holiday. So instead of relaxing and winding down, you're all wound back up over his sudden withdrawal from routine life...and lack of requisite amount of pee in the diaper.

9. A play date sounds like an exciting opportunity to let your shy guy socialise. You're hoping that your child is as excited as you are. Problem is, most often, you and the other mother are the only folks excited. He decides he's going to pluck all toys from the other kid, scream, and spend most of the pecious "date time" whining. Other kid is on the same wavelenght! By the time you meet again, he's forgotten the kid anyway, and the process starts all over again.


10. You're all set to go to the park. It's a great sunny day. You're even in the mood to pack some picnic lunch. You're all set to go and no surprise dark clouds have gathered in the sky either. You're finally getting dressed after having fought the dear child to get his clothes and diaper on. Ting Tong...it's those cheesy relatives who land at your doorstep and settle down comfortably for a chat.