Monday, July 25, 2011

Mr. Rules - Everything must be just so

Sonny Boy rules my life (no, I'm NOT proud of it). He has rules for everything. He has rules for every ritual in his life  -- each activity in his everyday life is a ritual. I'm not joking, its FRUSTRATING. Here's what's pissing me off these days...I just endured an episode early this morning, at about 4.30 a.m.

1. Mummy must never pee. He seems to have SOMETHING against it. I have talked it out with him, tried reasoning with him, always keep the bathroom door open lest he thinks I'm going to get sucked down the commode...I've told him I can't pee where I stand in the house, or in a diaper like him at night...I've pointed out that he pees! And waste must go out of the body or we'll be ill blah blah....he listens with big eyes and then weeps to say "You must not do soosoo"!!!!!!!!!!!!

2. His nose must be wiped in the precise strokes he specifies -- it must be pressed hard with a kerchief and you must wok on it from top to nose tip -- the hanky must never be inserted in the nostril. We've tried telling him he can please wipe his own nose whichever way he likes, but no. WE must only do it, and it can only be done HIS way, or there's more tears and snot.

3. Now that Bangalore's getting colder, he pees himself silly through the night. However thick the diaper, he leaks out the front from top (aaargh the boy thing!). He's smart enough to wake me in the middle of the night most of the time and tell me "I've done susoo", which usually indicates his diaper is FULL. But then, I'm supposed to change him without switching on the lights! Bleary-eyed blimey me... If I switch on even like a night lamp he'll wail like a banshee and wake up the entire apartment. I cannot wash hands, throw soiled diaper in dustbin, basically get out of his radar....Oh and yes, it must be his brand of diaper or he has issues with that.....I know a whole lot of parents are nodding their heads as they read this, thinking I'm this loser complying to his every demand. But's really challenging to put up with his tantrums at the end of a long working day.

4. He has a set order in which things must happen -- saying goodbye to my parents every night is done in a particular order and way, if its sandals he's wearing, only he must put them on -- any attempt to help buckling up results in a tantrum, dinner must be served in an order -- chapati first, rice later. If it's a holiday, by noon he has to be at his grandparents', there must be just that amount of toothpaste on his brush, the water to rinse his mouth must be put into mouth in that one same direction/angle always

I've considered if he suffers from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)... is it possible to have a child checked for it? I wonder sometimes if it's a sign of anything else...don't want to take names unnecessarily...I wonder if its just me who needs to see a therapist, giving in, as I am, to most of his stupid "rules". Anybody out there with an insistent child like this? He'll be three next month -- I can't even blame it on the Terrible Twos anymore....


Garima said...

hahah its not OCD, trust me its a kid figuring out how he can have you tied around his little finger. Give into some and dont give in teh res.t.. and yes please Pee ;-)

Aparna said...

Hey Forever Mother,

Just a shoutout to say that I'm also in the same boat most days and hopefully you don't have to worry about OCD and stuff like that yet (unless I have to too!). Only difference is that I let him (occasionally her) cry his head off, if I feel it's something completely silly like not letting me go to the loo. Most times, I think that helps make it better in the long run, to help him understand that there are some things that are non-negotiable.

Of course this strategy does not work when he already has a cold/cough and I have to worry about it getting worse with his crying so only limited application :(..

Hang in there!

Aparna said...

First of all, HUGS!! I applaud ur patience in dealing with all of this, esp after work. It must take a LOT out of you. I don't have any wise words except that honestly, the terrible twos are only followed by the terrifying threes and the fearsome fours...who said it ends at 3???? Ads was at his WORST between 3 and 4. Now...that didn't really help u, did it??? :(

I don't think u need to get too anxious abt it. Kids at these ages need to exert some semblance of control in an environment where practically everything they do is dictated by an adult. Think of it from their angle and we will realize how frustrating their life must be too, oftentimes. So, good luck. He'll be ok. Give it a couple of years :)

whinymom said...

Its the terrible twos stretching onto 3... should be gone in no time... dont worry, im in the same phase

Uma said...

I read your post immediately after you posted it but couldn't post a comment at that time. Seriously, am yet to get there and I panicked on seeing OCD. I was about to google to read more about it.
Thankfully our other more experienced friends' replies made me smile. At the same time I dread the time when I'll come to this stage.
Actually my friends' kids- who are incidentally R's age- cry their heads out when my friends need to pee. One of them actually takes the kid along in the bathroom!..
So, lets take courage from other blog friends who have been there and done that and find solace in the fact that we are not alone..:-)

Aparna said...

Also, another comment....I think it depends where u want to draw the line. Like the previous comment from uma, where she said one of her friends takes their kid to the bathroom. Some moms would be like...ewww....but it's been something I'm ok with, rather than fight it out with my kid. So decide where you will draw the line, and where you can be more flexible. I think sonny boy is old enough to reason and negotiate so maybe you can have a shot at that too!

Aparna said...

haha.. the famous Loo discussion.. can't help but add my 2 bits too - I did the taking along to the loo for quite a while too..
Just that I could never be sure what is that age, when you have to stop changing in front of them, taking them with you to the loo.. I stopped ("almost" completely) around when he was 3 years+

Forever mother said...

Guys, really, thanks for the reassurance.
Aparna, thanks for reminding me that it never really ends ;-)
Yeah, the loo thingy is like the crux of my had withered down, don't know what happened again...(It's prompting me to write my next post)
It just feels good to know you're not alone but a speck of the similarly-tortured sisterhood of moms.
But, guys, really, THANKS. Sometimes all I need is a reassurance that we're ok, that Sonny and me are not really alien-kind-of-abnormal.