Saturday, December 18, 2010

Snap jack back and a possible biopsy!

I have to keep telling myself life will get better. Or I might just forget that.
I'm right now lying on my back and typing out this post with hubby's laptop at an odd angle to my stomach and my thigh. I've a bad lower back spasm. Something i've had before and had been warned might happen again if i'm not careful. Such warnings swim in the back of your mind for very few days after the attack.Then you're back to bending over the wrong way because that's what comes very naturally. So does the pain.

My Sonny Boy's nanny isn't back at work yet. She's not taking my calls on her cellphone, neither is she returning them. That's a bad bad sign. Aunt's surgery next week and then my parents have taken it upon themselves to offer her post-operative care at their home. It's going  be be a month of hell for them. Feeling so bad for them and helpless. If nanny doesn't return, my resignation chances look clearer.

My parents have taken ill, along with Sonny. If there's a name to my degree of frustration, I don't know of it.
Sonny is so bad with a cough, congestion, runny nose and its happening all over again, over and over again. He's hardly been to playschool this whole month. Bangalore's weather is playing truant. I think it's showing -- teh effects of climate change.

Immunity -- that really gets me worried and talking all the time. It's something I have very little of and so does Sonny, I suppose.
I'm now being advised to take and give him septulin supplements, iron tonics etc etc.
If there is something that worries a mother, it has to be her child's illness -- whatever it is, and whatever degree it is.
I'm just blabbering. I've been at home, hardly have anyone to talk to, am feeling like shit.

Moreover, I had a harrowing week of breast swelling and inflammation -- something the doctors have, after an ultrasound scan, diagnosed as an infection -- but if it doesn't come down by Tuesday I might need a biopsy. I'm dreading it. I'm a very filmi person. As soon as doc said that, my mind did a flash forward. What if it's cancer? What if I die? What happens to Sonny? What are the things I want to do before I die?Suddenly my priorities seemed different. Top among them, I realised was to spend time with Sonny and other family members. Actually been so depressed and worried have been refusing to go to work. And snapping my back came as a great excuse -- though it only means I have more time on my back for gory imagination and more pain (and medication) than I can already handle. At least the back took the attention away from the boobs, was hubby's take on it all. Oh yeah, maybe that was the plan.

Right now doing a supine posting, with Sonny Boy's blocked rhythmic breathing for bedside company.



Aparna said...

OMG...this sounds terrible! Uh -- sorry to give asinine words of so-called comfort, but I've found sometimes things have a way of getting really horrible which pushes us to take some tough decisions which we would not take otherwise. Maybe this is one such time. Dealing with all that pain must be tough tough tough. Good luck with the biopsy. Sonny boy -- do you believe in homeopathy? I've had friends in Blr who were fed up with their kids falling ill all the time and homeopathy really helped in building up the immunity.

Anu said...

heyyy,i know you must be feeling terribly rotten,does virtual hugs count???Hope you really get better!!

Shamitha said...

hi, i feel really bad for the situation you are in currently. im praying for your lil one's and your fast recovery. im a new mom (have an 8 month-old daughter) and stumbled upon your blog by chance. i have read a couple of your posts and must say you have a nice flair for writing. keep it up.

i would love to share something with you that has changed my life in a beautiful way. When plagued with some bad health issues, my hubby and i consulted dr. vijaya and anju venkat of The Health Awareness Center (THAC. I was amazed at the way just a simple change in diet gave us a fresh lease of life. Please do try to get in touch with this wonderful set of people both for yourself and your son. Your immunity and overall health will definitely improve. Take care of yourself and sonny boy.

Garima said...

Ouch... Hugs.. Dont worry there is light at the end of tunnel. You will be writing a post that the inflammation has gone down.. and Sunny is back to running around the house and hopefully playschool.

ALlright... I hate to do this... but... my daughter V also had a tonne of cold in her first and second winter in Chicago..which gets brutally cold trust me on that. Based on IL's recommendation, we tried giving her some homeopathy medicines.. so consulted the doc over phone from USA etc... but since you are in India, migth be easy access.
V's cold and cough is 'better' well... relative is the term.. relatively better. But the main thing the congestion has eased up making her get the rest etc..
And yeah.. I know you must have gotten zillions of advice already...I am just sharing what helped her.

Hugs to Sonny as well.